Training for the Railways?

I think the staff at London Midland have all been on some sort of communications course.

On Wednesday, we were just coming into a station when suddenly the lights went out, the engines went quiet, and we sort of glided into the station. There was a brief whirring noise, then the engines came back to life. The driver comes onto the tannoy: "Apologies, ladies and gentlemen, ... I stalled it". The whole carriage laughed, in one of those rare moments when commuters, usually engrossed silently in their ipod, newspaper or book, awoke briefly from their stupor to share a moment of fun.

And then tonight (Friday), the previous train had been cancelled, and ours was delayed. So when it eventually turned up, hundreds of us swarmed on to stand in a sardine-style crush in the carriage. The voice came over the tannoy: "Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen. Apologies for the heavy loading tonight [interesting choice of phrase], due to a person taken ill on an earlier service and that train being cancelled. But don't worry, we'll make sure we get you all home safely". It was rather sweet!

Anyway, London Midland, so incompetent in so many ways, not least when it comes to insisting that a train is on time even five minutes after it should have shown up, have made me smile twice this week, and for that I thank them.